Untitled
by CSI3Lyra
Summary: A very confusing and random series of happenings caused by... a CHICKEN! No ships. Currently titleless. Feel sorry for it and read! Please review, you'll get cupcakes!


**Summary:** A long, confusing, and exceptionally psycho chain of events set off by a bird… Meaningless fluff. Reviews are always appreciated.

**Spoilers:** Lots of season 3 and 2 references. But before George's dad had cancer and a failed valve and George became a bastard, oh and before he made the hideous mistake of sleeping with Izzie. Oh, and instead of the picking who to pick, Meredith slept with McVet like 3 days after she did McDreamy during the prom thing. Which was weird. Because hospitals don't have proms.

**Disclaimer:** Yes, I own Grey's Anatomy. Every last "seriously" belongs to me. wakes up Wow, that was such a cool dream!

**A/N:** I dedicate this fic to Yellowierd0, for she gave me the idea. She is obsessed with the Chicken, who is the inspiration for this fic and very shiny. Oh, and thank you to Lizzi's chicken for being so darn good and inspiring Addison's obsession with chicken.

Reviewers shall be sent cupcakes or other yummyness. If you flame it will have no effect whatsoever on me or stop me inflicting my terrible writing skills upon you, so constructively criticise, please. Oh, and it's unbeta'd. Any mistakes are my own.

Any ideas for a title?

I'll shut up and get on with the story now.

Title Goes Here When I Think of One

It had been a long shift for the Seattle Grace interns, what with having to stay up and listen to dying people whinge. But, come on, they're surgeons. With their magic scalpels and super-emotions, they can live through it.

So, after her 43 hour exhausting shift, Meredith crept through the front door and went into the kitchen. Izzie was baking muffins.

"Hey Meredith! Do you want a muffin? I've made muffins! I think I might make a chocolate cake soon, though. But, seriously, have a muffin!" Meredith's thoughts: perky mood. Izzie's in a perky mood. Oh, crap.

"Uh, no. Thanks Izzie. Uh, where's George?"

"George? He went outside."

"Outside? He's outside." Meredith's voice was filled with fear.

"Yeah, to get logs. For the fire. Why? Do you need to talk to him, because he's just got over Callie, and he's not ready for you to change your mind about… _you guys_ right now."

Meredith started to edge away from Izzie, towards the back door. The happiness was making her teeth hurt. "Okay, Izzie, I'm not going to talk about that, I need to talk to him… about… a patient! Yeah, I want in on his… appendectomy!"

Izzie was to busy sifting flour to notice the obvious lie. Appendectomies are boring, everyone knows that. Plus, George kills people when he apendectomises.

"Meredith, do we have anymore-", when…

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!" George ran in from the back screaming. "A CHICKEN! AN EFFING CHICKEN IS CHASING ME!!" He was being chased by a chicken, fairly obviously.

Meredith ran forward, yelling "STOP!! YOU FREAKING IDIOT!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO CHASE GEORGE! MCCHICK, STOP IT!"

George: "You KNOW this thing??"

"McChick? That is so cute!" The chicken started pecking George's legs, but he didn't seem to notice. He glared at Meredith ,daring her to explain.

"Well, I found McChick outside the hospital. And he was so small and fluffy, because he was still a chick. He was too cute, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't take him to McVet, because things have been so awkward since I slept with him. sigh It's so hard to find people to sleep with that aren't married or have freakishly coincidental tumours. But, enough about me being a dirty mistress. So, I brought McChick home. And, George, he's not as bad as you thought Doc was. And we can't give McChick to McDreamy, because I slept with him again too, and he's still pissed off with me."

"This, this chicken, he's worse than Doc! Worse, far worse, lots lots very much more worse… It's me or the chicken!"

Meredith looked from George to the chicken. Her thoughts; George, chicken. George, chicken. George, my cute McPet. Hey, is this déjà vu or what?

"You hesitated!" George shrieked, strangely high-pitched, in anger. "Izzie, did you see that? She hesitated!"

He shoved the chicken away, having finally realised his trousers were being shredded.

"You do not get to choose the chicken over me! No, you don't, you do not, I mean, I am a man, I am George, I mean, seriously…starts muttering under his breath I'm going to Burke! And I don't care if he kicks me out again because Cristina is walking around naked! Because I'm Bambi, and I'm naïve, so I'm going to make the same mistake again!"

"You don't need to go anywhere George. I'm right here." A man's voice seemed to come from not quite anywhere. They turned around and gasped.

Izzie, being in a crazy muffin making frenzy, didn't realise the absurdity and over-dramaticness of the situation. "Dr Burke, come in! Have a muffin, they're very nice. Cristina! Hi! A muffin, here. I love baking. Muffins muffins muffins! squee!"

Meredith was confused, but in a pretty way that didn't scrunch up her face like normal people. "How the hell did you get in here?" Burke opened his mouth, but Cristina answered for him.

"Have you not noticed you never locked the front door? It's kinda weird, but you can just walk right in if you want. Useful when we don't have a key."

Whilst George was still mumbling to himself and attempting to stop the chicken from pecking him to death ("Aaarrrgghh!!! It's killing me!!! The freaking chicken is killing meeee!! Ooowww!!!"), the door burst open for a second time.

"O'Malley!!" cried George's father and brothers. "Woo!!!"

What's-his-face-union-guy-dad, Harold, patted one of his stupid sons on the back. "C'mon son, take out that birdie. Oh, George, have you picked a car yet?"

George screamed in frustration. "NO! I HAVEN'T PICKED A FREAKIN' CAR!"

The son who didn't shoot George's dad is either Ronny or Jerry, so now he's Jerry. Jerry smirked. "You're too chicken to pick a car." Cristina rolled her eyes. "Oh that wasn't even funny." "Huh?" Jerry, as we have seen, is incredibly stupid.

And with that the one who shot George's dad in the ass shot McChick in the ass.

Meredith started sobbing hysterically and clung to the lifeless body of The-One-She-Picked-Over-George. "M-m-my McChick!!! Oh, McChick!!! Chicken!! insert lots of crying" **(A/N: Yellowierd0, I do greatly apologise. The story just kinda wrote itself…)**

Burke pulled on an apron, and motioned for Izzie. "Dr Stevens, you are going to be assisting in this procedure. Scrub in please." He was already washing his hands in that weird surgeon way. You know, the whole rubbing the hands palm-to-back-of-the-hand thing.

"Yes sir." Izzie pulled an apron on and scrubbed her already freakishly clean hands.

"Now, Dr Stevens, make the first incision. A cross ways lateral cut would be suitable."

Cristina looked from George, who was going crazy with the repetitive car conversation, to Meredith, sobbing on the floor, to Burke and Izzie, who were intubating the chicken with a straw. "Liquor! I need liquor! Meredith, no, George, where do you keep the alcohol?" "None. We haven't got alcohol." George replied. Then he hissed "Cristina, save me. Save me."

"Oh, no, chicken boy, _I_ need saving."

Jerry walked up to Burke and Izzie's operating table. A breadboard. "Doctor ummm, doctor, do you have spare chicken blood?" Burke gave him serious look "Please dispose of this correctly in the medical waste bin." and handed him a Tupperware of chicken blood.

Jerry then completely disobeyed all medical protocol, and instead of chucking it in the bin he threw it over George's head. Three voices yelled. "O'MALLEY!!"

"AAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" George was dripping with chicken blood and running round the kitchen. "O'Malley!!! Stop contaminating my OR!!!!!!!!!!" George responded with an arm flap, that made him look oddly chicken like. Izzie squealed as chicken blood got on her disgustingly perfect hair. "Oh, Burke, stop it!!!!! This isn't an OR, it's Meredith's freakin' kitchen!!! And that isn't a surgery, it's a damn chicken!! I do NOT want you turning into a vet, you are a DOCTOR!!!!!" Cristina yelled. She slammed her fist onto the bread board for emphasis, causing the chicken to shake. Izzie looked terrified, having been sucked into Burke's Chicken World. "Dr Burke, the patient's seizing!!!" "Give him 20 milligrams of olive oil, stat!!!"

"So, Callie… George is such a girl. But you'll pick a car, right?"

"Sure… uhhhh… Ronny?"

"Yeah! whispers Jerry, she remembered my name, HA!"

"Umm, well, I'd have to say… a Thunderbird?"

"Wow, well, that's a great car, I was so going to pick that, see how much we have in common!"

"Oh shut up, Jerry, you so weren't." Ronny poked his brother.

"Ooookay, well, I'm just gonna see if George, is, uh, y'know, okay, so, bye!" Callie scuttled away awkwardly. She then didn't know where to go seeing as George was having a "moment" with his dad. "I am NOT stupid!!! And I have chicken blood and scratches all over me! Be NICE to me!!!" She was promptly recaptured by the O'Malley idiots, ending the dilemma of where to go.

Cristina walked over to Meredith, ignoring the pleas of George as his brothers mercilessly poked him. She crouched down and looked the sobbing Mer in the eye. "Meredith. Get. UP!!" This was punctuated with kicks. "M-m-m-m-my McChick!! Oh, my chicky!!!! Nooooooo!!!" Cristina looked at the chaos around her. Again. Burke and Izzie were removing the chicken's feathers, George's brothers were trying to show off to Callie, as she tried and failed to get away from Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Really Dumb. (Wait, where did she come from? Ohhh, right, George called her over as a distraction to get rid of his brothers.), George was trying to explain to his dad that he did NOT enjoy being caked in poultry blood, and Meredith was sobbing over the freakin' animal. And so the phone came out.

"Karev?"

"Yang? What is it? Do you have a surgery?"

"No. Sadly. And if I did I wouldn't call you."

"Ouch."

"Get over it. Anyway, come to Meredith and Izzie and George's house. Bring liquor. Lots of liquor."

"And where am I meant to get tons of liquor from."

"Dude, seriously, Joe's?"

"Hey!! Dude, seriously is _my_ over used line!!"

"Stop being a girl. Now bring me the damn alcohol."

Cristina hung up.

"Careful, Stevens! You're losing moisture, move fast. Remember…"

"Suction!" Izzie beamed proudly "I know. There. It's fixed. But, I told you last scary dinner making time, call me Izzie! I'm gonna call you Preston." Burked stared "If, y'know, that's, okay…" "Of course it's okay!" "Great, uh, I'm going to go check on my MUFFINS!"

20 minutes later and Alex, Joe, and Walter walked in.

"Hey! I brought pie!" Walter looked seriously weirded out by the chaos, but offered up his pastry-covered foodness anyway. Joe, on the other hand, knowing the psycho interns rather well, wasn't fazed in the least. In fact, he helped himself to muffins.

Cristina had never been happy to see Alex before. "Okay, pie, well, whatever. Karev, liquor!!" "Here." Alex shoved some bottles at her, and walked over to help in the slow killing of O'Malley. Cristina leapt over to where Meredith was, gave her a bottle, which Mer immediately knocked back, and drank straight from her own. "Hey. No sleeping with inappropriate men. Complicate things more, and they'll call _me_ 007 because I've killed _you_." "Okay" replied an already tipsy Meredith, "You have shiny hair." "Oh, you're _so_ drunk." "Yup."

A drunk Meredith was slurring her words together an hour later. "Youuuu'r innnn mmmy hic! house. You're alllll messed up surgeons. Apart from Joe, and the other hic! guy, and George's fammmily. But we're all messsssed up, commmpetitive surgeons." "Whatever, Mer." "Yup."

"Hey, Ronny, I bet you couldn't beat Jerry arm-wrestling!" Callie attempted a distraction.

"I so could! Watch!" The two 'men' sat down and started trash-talking each other as they prepared for the pointless match. Callie took the opportunity to run back to her fancy hotel and dance in her knickers. George scurried after her.

Burke emerged from the kitchen, with a lot of unidentified liquidy things slopped down his apron. "Everybody, dinner is served. Please come to the dining room." Everybody wordlessly followed the doctor/chef/musician/crazy guy. Izzie had laid the table all out. At the centre was a beautiful chicken, cooked and surgically sliced o perfection, although suction had been needed at one point. There was a bowl roast potatoes, salad, Walter's pie thing, and various sauces for the chicken. The smell of chocolately cake and other sugary confections wafted from the kitchen.

Burke was about to carve the turkey, oops, chicken, thinking about how they need Derek and Addison and Mark to really make it a party. As his knife sliced with, you guessed it, surgical precision, the adulterous trio burst in!

Addison exclaimed in joy and ran over in her high heels. The very drunk Cristina stared at her in amazement, and wondered how the hell anyone did that. Addison threw herself into a chair and stole the first piece of chicken, which she fell upon with scary speed, and ate with very odd moans of delight. Everyone froze and stared. Addison looked up. "What? I like chicken! And this is very good chicken." Everyone accepted this as normal and moved on.

Walter poked Joe, and they snuck out, making sure to keep away from the totally wasted Meredith. With their entertainment (George) gone, the car-pickin' O'Malleys bowed their apologies to Izzie.

"Sorry, ma'am, but we need to go… I'm sure the dinner's very nice, though."

Izzie was loving playing the hostess. "Oh, Mr O'Malley, you don't need to 'ma'am' me. Here, take some muffins with you!"

Derek glared at Addison. "Who invited her? I am not eating dinner with her."

Cristina rolled her eyes and replied exasperatedly "No one invited her. Or you. Or me or anyone else. And there isn't anything to get invited to. But my stupid boyfriend had to bake some damn chicken with McMuffin Lady here."

Burke gave her his calm look. "I don't bake. I cook."

"Yeah, _I_ bake. Now, eat, everyone, eat dinner and be happy!" Izzie finished serving up to the remaining doctors. Meredith, Burke, Cristina, McDreamy, McSteamy, Satan, and Alex, and Izzie herself.

McSteamy attempted polite conversation.

"So. This is a dinner party. It's… nice, and… awkward. Grey, how's my favourite dirty mistress?"

"Oh, I'm good, McSteamy! I sleep around a bit much. Maybe I should knit a sweater again. Do you want a sweater?"

"Uh, no, thanks." He replied, looking a little weirded out, but flashing the patented McSteamy smile nonetheless.

Derek glared at him. "Stop smiling at her. You're not allowed to smile at her. You've already sucked all the joy out of my wife."

Mark glared back "You just _have_ to spoil everything, Derek. We're having a nice dinner, and I'm just smiling at my fellow dirty mistress."

Derek just glared his famed McDreamy glare.

Addison turned to Izzy. "So, Dr Stevens, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm _**great**_, Dr Montgomery! How are you going? Slept with McSteamy yet? Oh, that was inappropriate, I'm sorry…"

"No, it's okay. And, please, we're not at work. Call me Addison. God, this chicken is _delicious_! Can I help myself to some more?"

The conversation continued in a boring small talk way.

Cristina turned to Burke. "When are we leaving this thing?" she hissed. "I did not want to eat dinner. I want to go to the hospital!"

Somehow, he retained his signature calmness. "Cristina, it's very impolite to leave a dinner party early, especially after all the effort Dr Stevens and I put in."

They bickered for a few more minutes, until…

"Hey, Yang, bet you couldn't eat a quarter of that chicken faster than me." (It was a very big chicken, please bear in mind)

"Oh, you're ON Karev."

They prepared themselves for a second eating tournament.

Burke turned away in disgust, and went to check on Izzie's muffins. All the other attendings leaned in with morbid fascination.

"I say Cristina wins." murmured Derek.

"No way, definitely Karev. Have you seen the mouth on that guy?" Addison giggled at her little joke. A tad too much wine for her, then…

Mark nodded "I agree. 20 bucks on Karev."

Izzie swooped down on them. "How could you do that? That is just _wrong_! You guys are so unbelievable! Cristina's obviously going to win! I put 40 on her." "Well, I'll take that action." Sloan grinned, pulling money from his pocket.

As Burke started the oven timer, Bailey burst into the room.

"**WHAT** are you all **doing**?" She was absolutely furious, and even the attendings instinctively cowered. "You have surgeries, pre op and post op notes, and patients! Patients that need you to drag YOUR sorry asses to the hospital. _Right now_."

Karev dashed out to get a good surgery. Cristina abandoned her chicken and ran to the door, only stopping to haul Meredith out from under the table, as she slid off her chair laughing so hard.

Izzie was about to offer muffins, but faltered at the murderous look on Bailey's face. "Stevens, I do NOT want muffins. Get to the hospital, NOW."

Bailey rounded on the giggling attendings. "And you. You are attendings! You should be setting examples! Not sitting there and giggling! Dr Shepard, you have a craniotomy in an hour!! Dr Sloan, stop smirking at me. I know for a fact that you haven't done your post op notes on Mrs Garcia. Get going now. Just because you are an attending does NOT mean I cannot yell at you!! Dr Montgomery, STOP eating that chicken!!!" Addison looked up guiltily. "Bu' eh shecken esh sho goof!" (Translation: But the chicken is so good!)

Bailey stared at her for a moment. "Err, right then. Just, get going."

She shooed them out of the house, stopping to take a muffin.

And as we see Bailey bullying the doctors into cars, we hear echoing cries of

"Myyyyy McChiiiiiiick!!!!!!!"

"I want moooore chickeeeen!!!"

"Whoooo wants mufffinnsss!!!!!"

"Addisoooon's an adultererrrrrrrr!"

"Heeeeeyyyy!!!!!"

"Shut uuuup!!!!"


End file.
